What I Really Think About Daycare

For months now, my husband and I are constantly plagued with never-ending questions when to put our son into daycare. I am pretty sure that the question meant well, to give us an option that we probably didn’t think of. And for the past months now, we are always consistently answering the same answer: We will take him when we feel it is the right time to do so.

Our son is growing up. He is a very active little boy who loves to run and climb around the house. This is probably the reason why we are constantly asked when we will bring him to a certain facility so he can “learn” to interact with other kids. Don’t get me wrong, my husband and I never thought that by putting one’s child into a daycare facility is evil. To be honest, it was one of the options we had in mind when my son turned one. We even went as far as to call a nearby daycare facility and pay for a full amount of deposit (yes, we already paid for it). It is just that after carefully thinking of our own situation, we decided against it. So the result was to delay his start for a whole year, without refunding the deposit (ouch!).

Here is the thing: parents put their kids to daycare because this is the setup that works best for them. I am not here to question anybody’s parenting style or preference, but would like to stress that the decision whether to put one’s child in a daycare facility comes from the parent’s child. Parents are the one who knows best of their unique situation. Parenting and child-rearing is not a “one-size-fits-all” approach. I am not here to say that we have turned deaf ears for friendly advice and opinions. I actually welcome them since it allows me to have more options to choose from. But to be constantly nagged about the same topic over and over can get quite overbearing.

I hope that as I have said my piece, the topic on daycare, playgroup, or any form of social interaction that I MUST bestow upon my child should end. I am not sure where this idea that it is a MUST to put one’s child into daycare so they can achieve better social skills came from. Are there any hard and fast rules about parenting that I haven’t heard of? The only one that I know of is that we send our kids to school by the age of 4 (or 5 for some countries). By this age, experts agree that a child’s social skills are quite matured making them ready to interact.

I am not to say that I will NEVER let go of my son to be independent. It is actually the opposite. I wish and hope for him to grow up to be an independent man; one that loves to travel and explore the world around him. It is just that for me, a child spending 40 hours per week in a day care facility with enough time to go home just tired to sleep without interaction with family is sad. If I were the child, I will be. And since my husband and I have a choice not to go to that direction, we won’t.